People, I have noticed, often say they want honesty. That is, until they actually get some.
I LOVE women. In the spirit of fairness though I also like the occassional man. If I’m honest with myself I actually like them both at the same time. This severely limits your dating opportunities particularly in a place like Adelaide where I live. Digging your way online through the wannabe’s, the guy’s pretending to be a couple, the guys who have floated the idea past their woman who is not keen on the idea at all – these are the roadblocks put in the way of someone like me who just wants a nice time with nice people. Male-female-male relationships have been written about in books, sung about in songs, and suggested in film but what about the real world? I suggest fervently that if it is happening it is not happening a lot.
Over the years I’ve been involved with a lot of really nice women with great sexual appetites. Almost without exception, in those little chats that lovers have, they have mentioned that one of their generally unfullfilled fantasies is to have two men at once in bed. Hurrah I think! – initially. Bitter experience has taught me to tread carefully at this point. “So, how would you think you would like that to work if I could make that happen for you?” I enquire tentatively and invariably disappointment ensues as the fantasy, except in one memorable experience in my 20′s, always entails my lady friend being the total subject and ‘star’ of the fantasy. Fair enough, it IS their fantasy, but on the occassion when I have ventured that maybe she could also be entertained by some male-on-male action it is like I have driven a stake into their heart, often by the same women who have ventured to bring another woman into the equation for my benefit! They look at me like I am some sort of depraved lunatic who should be swiftly locked up for reasons of public safety. Is it so bad? Or am I being selfish? The court pf public opinion has changed markedly on homosexuality and same-sex relationships. They are actively encouraged and befriended by those of fair mind and ca-la-vie attitudes which is as it should be. But what of the (hopefully) stuck in the middle bisexual men? The subject never comes up. This is not a modern idea by any stretch of the imagination and has been around since Mary introduced Joseph to the concept of an extra male in their relationship so why is it so hard to organise? Or, as I strongly suspect, it IS thought about by far more men than admit it but like their secret longing for Judith Lucy it just never sees the light of day for fear of ridicule
Years ago, a dear friend of mine was involved with a man who had this bi male-female-bi male fantasy also. She rang me and tentatively floated the idea that I might join them for an evening of indulgence never for a minute suspecting that I would be immediately interested. It was wonderful! Jenny (not her real name) used to get very overheated watching Dennis (not his real name) and I enjoy each other before parachuting herself into the mix for some slippery fun of her own. Happily, this continued for a very long time and I eagerly looked forward to my regular invitations to Jenny’s home. It only stopped because Dennis got greedy – he tried to organise meetings with me without Jenny’s knowledge and my own personal integrity wouldn’t let me do that behind her back. Oh well….
I like being honest. It is at the core of my being and I am noted for it but with this I find myself living in the shadows and I don’t like it. I haven’t persued this side of my sexuality for a long time but now I am single again and ‘out on the town’ I’m going to see if, like same sex couples, attitudes have changed . Wish me luck….I’ll keep you posted!