The trials and tribulations of online adult dating

My ad is very specific…I managed to, I think, get over my social personality and general good humour and confidence. I am also most specific in the type of people I am looking for. I certainly didn’t want to be besieged by married bisexual/bicurious men looking for some mutual fondling and a blowjob in the backseat of a Commodore at a beachside car park although that is a given – no matter how direct you are, there are those who like the look of you or your equipment and send you a message anyway. Nothing wrong with that of course, it is quite flattering, but I’m not into sneaking around the local public park with someone who’s partner thinks they are still at work with their nose to the grindstone when in actual fact their nose is currently in line with my pubic bone.

Without repeating it word-for-word, as the ad still runs, I state I am seeking a couple with a bi male (or bi curious) or a woman who is interested in joining me as a partner to meet bi couples. I am not looking for anyone who is not around my own age (I’m 50) so I have stated 45yo to 60 yo as I am certain to have many things in common with people of that age bracket and they have life experience and a maturity within themselves not generally found in the young. At our age, we are comfortable with our bodies and have an acknowledged acceptance that we are not supermodels or heavyweight champions of the world…it is a different mindset but a much better one than the body obsessed mindsets a lot of us once clung to desperately. With an ad such as mine, you do get a lot of contacts – most, you soon learn, are married men testing the water but every now and then a diamond appears and so it was when I had a message from Di and Peter. Right from the start I had a really good feeling about them which enhanced the instantaneaous reaction I had to their naked photo’s they let me see. The catch, and there always is one dear reader, is that they live in regional South Australia but travel to Adelaide regularly for business – funny business I hoped! They wrote with an easy familiarity that made you warm to them easily. They fulfilled all my criteria: emotionally together and clearly in love; mature; confident; smooth shaved bodies where it counts (sorry, I’m not into hair), humorous; and after a few emails back and forwards we agreed to meet at an inner suburban hotel. Peter had a firm handshake and Di leant over and kissed me as an old friend would straight on the lips. We drank, laughed a lot and chatted for about an hour or two. We swapped dating site war stories and sussed out the local talent of both sexes in the bar like conspiritors plotting an insurrection and eventually I excused myself to go to the toilet (this wasn’t a desperate requirement really but more a device to give Di & Peter a chance to discuss my possibilities without having to give each other strange winks or pre-arranged codewords). I sat back down and had hardly settled when Di piped up with “we’d love you to come back to our motel and have another drink…if you are interested?” Of course I was and soon we found ourselves in a quite sumptious motel in the CBD. This is the awkward moment for the intruder: do you make any sort of move? do you sit down? do you remark upon some abstract print hung on the wall to break the ice? No need. Peter poured us some drinks as we stood around and then said with a wink “we remember your ad noted that you loved being naked..so why don’t we all get naked and relaxed with our drinks and discover things”. And we did….quite a lot in fact and for many regular meetings after that until Di & Peter sold their business and moved to Far North Queensland and into semi-retirement. Ca la vie……we still send each other messages on birthdays and for Christmas. Nice people and I miss them – for lots of reasons.

As I’m new here I wasn’t sure how much detail is allowed or expected so I stopped short of doing all that under-the-covers stuff. The above was a really good experience with like minded people but there are hundreds of stories out there from anyone who has ever tried to date online on either a mainstream or adult site where the experience has been frustrating and futile.

I never give up hope that there are more Di’s, Peter’s, or Daphne’s looking to meet Di’s and Peter’s out there for me to play with….without hope what do you have?

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2 thoughts on “The trials and tribulations of online adult dating

  1. I think I may follow your blogs, if you don’t mind. Very well articulated. I’ll have you know, there is good reason to remain optimistic. 😉

    • Welcome aboard Avril and thank you very much for your encouraging words – I think you are right and will, and do, walk in a straight line through this difficult maze seeking those who will walk with me 🙂 My best to you.

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